


The Cutest Nemesis

by Unrivalled_Super_Hottie



Category: Fandom - Fandom, Original Work
Genre: (one-sided) enemies to (mutual) lovers, Alternating Points of View, Australian Slang, Coffee Shops, F/F, Happy Ending, Meet-Cute, No One Reads My Tags | Tag Wranglers Read Your Tags, Pining, Wranglers Are Not Adult Supervision, just wrangling things, mutual crush at first sight, well cafe but it will work as a coffee shop for our purposes, wrangling jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27380146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unrivalled_Super_Hottie/pseuds/Unrivalled_Super_Hottie
Summary: Enemies-to-Lovers flavor: one tag wrangler and their nemesis, the worst tagger they've ever seen, who Never Comes Out Of DraftOr: Zen really, really wants to meet her nemesis and just. Have a quiet word with them.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Kudos: 16





	The Cutest Nemesis

**Author's Note:**

> This story is, like the people involved, completely fictional. Any similarities to reality, are purely coincidental, other than wrangling functions and real world places. Also any references to cafes or other public avenues take place pre-Covid! Stay safe everyone!
> 
> Any opinions expressed in this story, do not represent the author's opinions.
> 
> This story is very #wranglingjokes but as background for others:
> 
> Wranglers usually work on fandom specific bins, which are based on what fandom the work or draft was tagged with, and will need to coordinate with other wrangling teams in cases of crossovers. If wranglers look at an individual tag they can tell what fandoms it’s been used on, and the tag will appear in all of the relevant fandom bins. Wranglers can’t tell what tags belong to the same work or originate from the same person, unless they actually look at the work(s) in question, which they can only do when the work is public, but they can guess.
> 
> Wranglers can’t see draft works, but they do see draft tags in their wrangling bins. Tags are usually in alphabetical order and tags from one work will be intermixed with tags from other works. Sometimes the draft tags are confusing and wranglers won’t action them until the work comes out of draft, so that they can better understand what the tag meant. If the work comes out of draft, that is. Sometimes a user may not post the work before the draft expires, in which case the archive will delete the expired draft and a “rake” will come to take away the tags.

_Susan "SuziBellsBatManSmells" doesn't actually like writing fic._

_But sometimes there are interesting ideas, and just. Drafting it up on ao3 doesn't hurt anyone right?_

_And it's interesting to think about how it might have been tagged - covering all of the interesting possibilities. When the month runs out, all sins are deleted._

_No one needs to know. It can be just her and the archive._

_Until one day at the ‘coffee shop’ also known as Cuckoo Callay, Newtown Cafe, she hears the most profound sigh and the following ramble -_

_"Argh! At least let it come out of draft! I want to read about Batman riding a unicorn too!!"_

* * *

Alizarin is but a simple woman of simple needs. She likes to surround herself with things that spark joy.

She thinks Z is the most awesome letter. Zen is the most awesome emotion. Zebras are the most amazing animal, because it’s a horse that can kill you and is that not kick-ass?

Consequently, she likes to call herself by these things online and in her head. She is Zen ze Zebra Master. Where master means a person that can dropkick a lion into another timezone. She likes to have a zebra persona to represent her online, since the icon is very cute.

Z is an awesome letter. It even makes the inevitable Liz bearable. Her name is not Liz, it is Alizarin! It may be four syllables but they are not difficult to pronounce! It’s also spelled the way it’s pronounced! If you must have a one syllable nickname, use Zen!!

And so Zen is both her online nickname and has also become the alias she gives when she orders things like Starbucks.

In any case, being but A Simple Woman of Simple Means, when she sees the opportunity to tag wrangle for her favourite hero Zara, she takes the opportunity and applies. Zen is not quite sure how the people that mark her test and choose who joins the team take to her only applying for Z fandom. But they told her that they liked her wrangling answers as well as the funny drabble she had written about lassoing answers as an extra, which means that she joins and settles down to many glorious Z-filled days.

Zen likes to open the bin, play connect the dots with the tags, and close the bin. Sometimes she dabbles in history, sometimes in sports; sometimes for that handsome hero Zorro, but mostly there is the glorious Zara fandom.

But lately. Lately there’s been a problem.

There has been **the Batman** in her bins.

There’s nothing wrong with Batman to be clear, he can’t help it if he starts with a less awesome letter, being a b-man of all things.

B is such a boring letter. Alizarin doesn’t even like words like bisexual. Why would she want to split her sexuality, when she’s more a whole person kind of gal? Pansexual is where it is at! Yes, Zen knows that’s not what it means. No, Zen will not be taking criticism at this point in time.

But in any case, not everyone can be a Zara and Alizarin is just not that familiar with Batman. She grew up in a family where comics were for other people, unless one managed to convince their favourite uncle to order stuff through inexplicable “sources”.

But you know that involves a lot of effort and bribery. Usually lots and lots of baking zucchini chocolate cake bribery. So Alizarin liked to save it for important things like Zara.

No problem! There have gotta be like, a dozen or so DCU wranglers. She’s sure that they will pick them up soon.

Two weeks pass. Two weeks have gone by and the goddamn Batman is still in her bins. She clicks a tag, but then she finds a horror story.

No DCU fandom is tagged, for there is only Zara.

What kind of work could be here? It hasn’t yet been posted - the work count status still shows only 1 draft.

No matter. Zen shall see it when the work is posted. Her curiosity is piqued now; she definitely plans on checking it out.

A month goes by. In fact, it’s exactly a month when Zen goes to check out what the tags may show, but the tags are gone. The rake that takes away tags whose drafts have been deleted, either by the archive or the user, has taken them.

Oh well, so be it.

Onwards to Zara tags!

But the next day ‘the Batman’ is back, and apparently hangs out with a Kate? Alizarin does not know who this Kate might be. Is it a Batman Kate? Is there a Batman Kate? Who knows, not Alizarin.

So she pauses and waits another month, but alas.

For the rake comes and the rake goes.

What the rake takes, only the rake truly knows; but at least there is no more Batman.

No matter, there’s still plenty of Zara to enjoy.

Six months pass, and she is certain that it’s the same tagger, since many of the same tags that come and go and come up again with new combinations. The DCU wranglers now all know her by name. This was not her intention; but the goddamn Batman is driving her bonkers, as he bamboozles her with weird tags. One might even say he’s driving her batty.

Why? Just why is there always Batman in her cute, cuddly, normally well-behaved Zara fandom?

Why?!

Because she is now a grown-ass woman, who can pay for her own eBay “sources” (and better yet, online subscriptions), she’s found herself checking out Batman. The DCU wranglers had suggested going for the cartoon, Batman: The Animated Series.

To be honest it’s actually pretty enjoyable? Alizarin didn’t consider herself a cartoon kind of person really, and she’s not really fond of grim dark, but it’s pretty funny.

She even finds herself reading Batman fic recommended by other volunteers in the org, which is nice.

But after six or so months of not really existing tags, she wants to see the fic already. Can’t her nemesis have but a little pity? And maybe use the ‘Batman - All Media Types’ fandom tag so that people who care about Batman might be able to do something?

It makes her want to scream in her trendy Newtown cafe.

In fact, she’ll do a small one. Just as a treat, she can have a little scream.

"Argh! At least let it come out of draft! I want to read about Batman riding a unicorn too!!"

She immediately regrets it as she is approached.

“Um, so hi there. Um. I couldn’t help but hear you.”

But immediately after that, she stops regretting it.

“But I thought you might like to see this?”

You see, that’s when that’s when she met her.

A shy girl that reminds her of the letter C: a cute, cuddly, apparently Canadian, judging from her accent, chick. The type of person that Zen would absolutely love to draw into Conversation over Coffee.

A girl who’s holding up the back of her phone which has a Batman riding a unicorn poggle stuck on its back.

“Aww, that’s cute!” Alizarin replies.

And seeing as the cafe is pretty full, and the cute girl has a cup in her hand and is obviously looking for a seat, invites her to join her.

“Were you looking for a seat? Did you want to join me here? I’m just by myself getting some stuff done before I catch the bus to uni.”

* * *

Suzi is really shy, okay. She’s really shy and really gay. She doesn't know how she managed to get the most beautiful woman in the world’s phone number, but she thinks that they’re friends? Maybe? Which is great.

But she kind of wonders if maybe it could be something more? Like is this flirting when being complimented on her outfits? Or is this just fandom comradeship, with the gift of mutual squeeing?

Suzi doesn’t know!

She also really doesn’t know how to tell the most beautiful woman in the world that she’s gorgeous in that sexy red dress, that it really stands out against her olive skin but she really, really wants to!

Like, could Alizarin be interested in Suzi like that? Probably not. But it’s nice being friends together at least.

* * *

Alizarin really enjoys her not-dates with Suzi. It’s fun and Suzi makes for a great friend. Being eye candy doesn’t hurt either. Alizarin could never pull off the frilly lacy look that Suzi favours, but she’s always found it adorable, and enjoys telling Suzi so; which brings the added benefit of getting to see Suzi squirm and blush!

But she doesn’t know how to deal with her nemesis tagger. She thinks that they may have progressed to writing poetry in their tags? It’s hard to tell, being all out of order, though sometimes the odd phrase sounds kind of cool? Maybe?

It’s easier to deal with than the Batman. The wrangling tools page had a useful link to a tool for bulk selecting checkboxes. So it’s clicky, drag, clicky, type no fandom, clicky; and done. Zen is free once again.

But Nemesis tagger is confusing.

Just. Google Docs is free? And private? And won’t delete every month? Surely, this mystery tagger would prefer that? Rather than having Zen look over and over and over again at their non-fanwork.

Zen really, really wants to meet her nemesis and just. Have a quiet word with them.

* * *

Oh thank goodness. Alizarin’s just mentioned that she’s getting ready for pride month, and is going to be marching with her hula hooping group on one of the floats, which (a) sounds really cool and (b) means that Suzi stands a chance.

Which Suzi is going to take.  
Definitely.  
Yes.  
Any moment now.  
It’s not at all creepy the silence that Suzi’s doing right now.

She scrounges up all of her bravery and blurts out - “I”m going to be at Mardi Gras too, did you want to have drinks after?”

* * *

Alizarin is feeling on top of the world! Mystery tagger hasn’t appeared in her bins; and she has an actual date-date with Suzi! It’s a coffee shop romance come true!

Alizarin has so many plans on things that they can do together and takes great glee in implementing them.

Her favourite though, is when they get to cuddle on the couch together, watching movies, as Suzi patiently lets Alizarin ramble about all the things that are going on in her life. It feels really good being able to get all her emotions out there.

Alizarin is an extremely opinionated individual, but she does have at least some tact. Suzi will help keep everything confidential as someone that Alizarin can vent to about shitty professors, endless marking, the way her dad will not shut up about her sister switching football teams and now supporting the Roosters and wrangling woes such as her nemesis.

* * *

Oh no.  
Suzi has made a mistake.

Because Alizarin is rambling, which is usually nice to hear, about wrangling and her org work and ways people drive her nuts, but Suzi recognises something.

Suzi has just now realised that she is Alizarin’s nemesis.

* * *

Alizarin has long thought about the day when she would meet her nemesis tagger. Apparently that day has come and gone? It definitely didn’t go down how Zen thought it would.

* * *

_  
Suzi is feeling a bit overwhelmed. She’s told her girlfriend her secret, after procrastinating on it._

_The guilt has been eating her for a while. She didn’t realise… a lot of things._

_Like how she’d been annoying her girlfriend while trying to secretly send her poetry. Or how she didn’t need to do it secretly, Alizarin thought she was cute from the beginning._

_But the gush of words is a little hard to respond to._

_“Oh my God. It was you. Wait. You were writing poetry for me? Please tell me you kept it! Like that’s romantic, but I had no clue, and I definitely was not reading it that way!!! And now I really want to! Like oh my God, I remember thinking there was a cool turn of phrase that turned up, but I was just feeding them to the sarlacc, cause not really related to me ya know? Or at least that’s what I thought. Please, please tell me you kept them!! Also, can I introduce you to google docs? Please!”_

_“Um, yes.” She goes with, and then gratefully takes the opportunity to not speak more as her girlfriend kisses her passionately._


End file.
